Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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