Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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