i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
