Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize