i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
