it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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