She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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