did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
