JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
