would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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