I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
