There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize