i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Randomize
