I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
