it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
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