I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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