i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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