my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
You can't special order awesome
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
