we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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