i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
