There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize