Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
