Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Randomize