checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize