when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
