another moral hangover. fuck.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
