So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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