Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
