i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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