You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
