R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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