I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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