Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
