literally had 100 drinks last night.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
