okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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