sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize