chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
