Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize