i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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