I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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