You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
