Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
