just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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