4 words: hood of his car
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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