You're completely useless in the revolution.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
