why im i the only drunk person in the library?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize