I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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