haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
