Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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