my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
