Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
