I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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