if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
