Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
