I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
