So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
