I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize